'That ball was in! Chalk dust - everyone could see there was chalk dust! Right where is the Umpire?'
'And just how many ball girls do you need?'
'Oh no it's raining again! Typical of the English weather - I'm off.'
'Where do you think? When there are strawberries and cream on offer inside the chicken coop, why on earth would I want to run about a court for hours chasing an odd shaped egg?'
'That girl has has no willpower, and that cream will go straight to her hips. You have to be in it to win it. I think I will spend the time polishing my trophy! It's great for my bingo wings!!
I declare myself the winner, so that makes me the 'Great Brit-Hen' champion of this major tennis tournament for this year - watch out Andy Murray!